Goal: Approaching random strangers can be as scary as it sounds. There is a lot fear involved- Fear of being blown off, fear of being seen as a bother and fear of making a fool of yourself. Use this 5-step guide to approach people to help overcome the fear.
1- TAKE A DEEP BREATH
Taking a deep breath will help you calm you nerves and RELAX! It will also help improve your body language which is a valuable tool in successfully communicating with others. Personally I like to inhale deeply through my nose, hold for about 3 seconds, then release through the mouth, but everyone is different so do what works best for you.
2- EYE CONTACT
Smile with your eyes! Yes it is possible and it is something that you can practice. Stand in front of a mirror and cover your mouth with a piece of paper. Start making faces to portray different moods (happy, sad, angry etc) and see how your eyes change. Now that you have seen the difference between each expression try to recreate them without moving the rest of your face. With time and practice you will be able to do it without even thinking about it. The first impression starts with eye contact, from that point on you either make it or break it. Make sure you are ready to approach and know what you are planning on saying before making eye contact.
3- SMILE
Once you have mesmerized people with your amazing eye contact make sure to smile 😀
Give them a genuine and friendly smile, not a creepy “I’m freaking out” and it looks like I’m going to eat your face smile. It is okay if you are nervous, most of us would be, but as long as you have done the previous steps your nervousness will not come across. A friendly smile can disarm basically anyone and it will help set the mood for the conversation.
4- OPEN WITH A GREETING
Open with a friendly greeting such as “good morning” or “hi” or even “excuse me.” It seems simple and obvious but you’d be surprised how many people don’t take the time to do so.
5- SAY SOMETHING NICE
“Stop giving me compliments”- said no one EVER!!!
After greeting someone, think of something nice to say about them. Giving a compliment is the easiest way to start conversation because no one will shut you down.
A few examples are:
– “You have beautiful eyes”
– “I like your shoes”
– “Cool T-shirt”
– “You have a great smile”
As a result the people on the receiving end will be surprised and happy about your compliment.
This will be a great opportunity to continue talking and get to know them. Your compliment can be anything as long as you MEAN it. Most people can tell when you are just faking it to try to be nice.
The more people you approach, the more comfortable you will get. So stop Facebooking/Tweeting/Instagramming and go interact with people face to face. You are not only going to become the approach master but you will also be making people’s day. Besides you never know who you could meet!
YES – It’s really that easy to approach people! Keep in mind this guide and just go for it. Don’t think about what might happen. Don’t think about draw-backs, people have bad days. Just put one feet in front of the other and you will soon discover how fun it is to meet new people. Focus on making their day and having fun. Then it’s gonna be all right!
Recommended Books
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes
Yorick Tran
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